Question:
Ann… I still have a small area of that "orange" stuff on the skin of the breast where the mastectomy was done. I had radiation 5/99 to 7/99. Lots less of it then before obviously…but still can see a very small area of it…"pitted" as you described in your post. take care there God bless annie Ultimately…..we know deeply that the other side of every fear is a freedom. "Courage"…is *fear* that has said it’s prayers.
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"Sandy L – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Call me silly, but if the surgeon closes up the incision from side to side the 
dj You’d think so, but the sutures are intermittent, with spaces between. The tissue is mostly fat, so she/he must take a fairly broad loop in order to get a hold that won’t pull out. For a mastectomy, there is such a large flap of skin that it really isn’t practical to try to sew the flap to the chest. The drains do it all. Well if the drains do it all I all for it…..however I bet somewhere
down the line drains won’t be needed for any operations. There always finding ways. dj – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
Thank you I’ll meet you there. Diane….dj
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Even through my Mom had breast cancer at the age of 60 in 1981. She did pass away in 1991 but from complications of her diabetes she never had any signs of caner in her whole body for the full 10 years, which would make her a 10-year survivor of breast cancer. From the time my Mom had her mastectomy 1981 (I was 34 y/o) I’ve had a mammogram every year and all was fine, I’m now age 55. Not this year….. The mammogram this year was showing something on my left breast, as they put it "very vague" so we went onto a ultrasound imaging. Also on the ultrasound was the word again "very vague" so an ultrasound biopsy was done on Dec. 4, 2202. Also I was told there is no discrete nodule or mass demonstrated on the mammogram, and no lump on the outside of my breast however, there is added density from last years mammogram. The news come back on Wednesday Dec. 11, 2002 as cancer. I went to see the breast surgeon Dr. Jan Houston on Thrus. Dec. 12, 2002 to talk. She stated it’s in my left breast, Stage I, Ducal, 8 something long, in England for me she said about less than a half an inch. It’s 2 cm from the nipple on the bottom part of my breast. I have decided to go with the lumpectomy. She will remove some lymph nodes. She also stated I will be taking radiation for 6 weeks, 5 days a week. As far as chemo she stated will we see what treatments to do after the surgery which is Friday Dec. 20th. On Monday, Dec. 16th, I’m going in for per testing and on Thursday Dec.19th I’m going to Nuke…something or other… Medicine to have wires put in my left breast? I’m scared this is all so new to me. I, because of the ultrasound "guy" pushing hard on my breast think that the cancer is "deep" inside my breast , the biopsy "lady" also pushed hard on my breast to get a "good sample" as she stated, however that added to the ultrasound "guy" just makes me believe is "deep" inside my breast. Which I’m thinking it’s spread to my breast "bones". Sorry if I’m not spelling everything correct or not calling the doctors by the correct names I’m just not sure of the correct words. How does the breast surgeon (whom I do like very much) know what Stage your cancer is. By the mammogram, ultrasound, or biopsy or is it not fare to say what Stage your cancer is until after the lumpectomy and the lymph node are checked? I do understand how she knows the size, but she can’t know how deep it is inside your breast. Also understand how she knows where it is, in my case Ducal, but that’s all she could know until after the surgery…right. Thanks to all who took the time to read this and for any help. Hi Diane, Your best newsgroup is probably alt.support.cancer.breast they know everything over there. Click on the following and see if it takes you there. If it does, you’ll find your post and my reply there, reply on the other newsgroup, then others can reply to you, okay? J PS http://imaginis.com/breasthealth/breast_cancer.asp Also Dr. Susan Love’s book(s) on breast cancer
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"Marilyn" Will I have these tube (drains) even though I going to have a
Lumpectomy? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – That was pretty much my situation. I didn’t need any painkillers after the initial drug they gave me when I first woke up in the surgery. Opium? That’s what I remember, but it might have been something less fun. I was up and around slowly the next day, able to put on sweat pants and go down to the lobby for a newspaper. And the day after that I was able to wash my hair in the bathroom sink. They made me stay in until the drain was clear, which was the morning of the fourth day. The worst part was not being able to lift my arm for three days, because of the bandages. Yuk. But the whole thing, including chemo and rads, was better than I had expected. And radiation was a joy, compared to the rest of it. Marilyn Again I realize all casts are different I’m just praying all goes well
with mine. dj – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
"Erik If you’re having a SNB, there will likely be two pathology reports. One done immediately after node removal, and another more detailed report issued a few days later. No need to feel silly. In the future, a great idea is to have at least one, if not two people with you, when discussing these types of procedures with your doctor/surgeon. Between all those present, a much better recollection of the facts will be possible afterwards. And most certainly you should call her to clarify any questions you may have BEFORE the procedure(s).
That I will do. dj
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"Richard Will I have these tube (drains) even though I going to have a Lumpectomy? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – My partner, Janet, had a lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed on 20 Novemebr, and had major worries before the op., about the op, the scars, the bandages and the drains. Now, looking back, whilst none of it is pleasant, it was nowhere near the ordeal that she expected. The drain is a thin tube which is stuck in your skin, (just under the armpit in Janets case), and it empties into a plastic bag which you carry around – not a big deal. I think it hurt a bit/lot when they took it out – my impression was like a plaster being ripped off quick. On the evening of the op., she was able to walk short distances, and I wheeled her outside for some fresh air. She came home on the 4th day, when the drain was removed, and is now moving much more freely, and can drive again. There is still some pain, and the occassional excrudiating shooting pain, but it seems to be getting better all the time. None of this has been good – it is the most devastating experience of her life, (and mine), but I can categorically state that the perception of what might be, was actually much worse than what is, so far. Fortunately, her margins were clear, and the lymph nodes were not found to be affected. She is due to have chemotherapy and radiation, probably starting in the early new year. — Richard Faulkner
Sound not to bad I’m praying that my op. goes just as well. dj
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – After surgery you will have a bandage over the surgery site. You may have one or more tube (drains) from the breast or underarm area to remove fluid that collects during the healing process. Most drains stay in place for a week or two. Once the flow has gone down to about one ounce a day, the drain will be removed. Will I have these tube (drains) even though I going to have a Lumpectomy? My partner, Janet, had a lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed on 20 Novemebr, and had major worries before the op., about the op, the scars, the bandages and the drains. Now, looking back, whilst none of it is pleasant, it was nowhere near the ordeal that she expected. The drain is a thin tube which is stuck in your skin, (just under the armpit in Janets case), and it empties into a plastic bag which you carry around – not a big deal. I think it hurt a bit/lot when they took it out – my impression was like a plaster being ripped off quick. On the evening of the op., she was able to walk short distances, and I wheeled her outside for some fresh air. She came home on the 4th day, when the drain was removed, and is now moving much more freely, and can drive again. There is still some pain, and the occassional excrudiating shooting pain, but it seems to be getting better all the time. None of this has been good – it is the most devastating experience of her life, (and mine), but I can categorically state that the perception of what might be, was actually much worse than what is, so far. Fortunately, her margins were clear, and the lymph nodes were not found to be affected. She is due to have chemotherapy and radiation, probably starting in the early new year. — Richard Faulkner
That was pretty much my situation. I didn’t need any painkillers after the initial drug they gave me when I first woke up in the surgery. Opium? That’s what I remember, but it might have been something less fun. I was up and around slowly the next day, able to put on sweat pants and go down to the lobby for a newspaper. And the day after that I was able to wash my hair in the bathroom sink. They made me stay in until the drain was clear, which was the morning of the fourth day. The worst part was not being able to lift my arm for three days, because of the bandages. Yuk. But the whole thing, including chemo and rads, was better than I had expected. And radiation was a joy, compared to the rest of it. Marilyn
Response:
After surgery you will have a bandage over the surgery site. You may have one or more tube (drains) from the breast or underarm area to remove fluid that collects during the healing process. Most drains stay in place for a week or two. Once the flow has gone down to about one ounce a day, the drain will be removed. Will I have these tube (drains) even though I going to have a Lumpectomy?
My partner, Janet, had a lumpectomy and lymph nodes removed on 20 Novemebr, and had major worries before the op., about the op, the scars, the bandages and the drains. Now, looking back, whilst none of it is pleasant, it was nowhere near the ordeal that she expected. The drain is a thin tube which is stuck in your skin, (just under the armpit in Janets case), and it empties into a plastic bag which you carry around – not a big deal. I think it hurt a bit/lot when they took it out – my impression was like a plaster being ripped off quick. On the evening of the op., she was able to walk short distances, and I wheeled her outside for some fresh air. She came home on the 4th day, when the drain was removed, and is now moving much more freely, and can drive again. There is still some pain, and the occassional excrudiating shooting pain, but it seems to be getting better all the time. None of this has been good – it is the most devastating experience of her life, (and mine), but I can categorically state that the perception of what might be, was actually much worse than what is, so far. Fortunately, her margins were clear, and the lymph nodes were not found to be affected. She is due to have chemotherapy and radiation, probably starting in the early new year. — Richard Faulkner
Response:
"Erik That sounds like you’re having a Sentinel Node biopsy. If your pathology comes back clear while in the operating room, and all they have to remove are this number, then this is not an axillary dissection. Drains will be unnecessary.
I am a little confused about this, she stated I’d have to wait awhile for some tests coming back but then I remember something about the pathology department what!!!!! dj
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – "Sandy Wounds heal from side to side. If the sides are not touching, they don’t heal well if at all. The tubes are to remove serum that might accumulate in the area of the incision so that the sides will not be held apart. Whether tubes are needed depends a bit on how large a gap there is at the site of surgery. The tubes are a bit of a nuisance, but they are your friends and it works best to keep them in place until they stop draining, if you have them. Call me silly, but if the surgeon closes up the incision from side to side the dj
You’d think so, but the sutures are intermittent, with spaces between. The tissue is mostly fat, so she/he must take a fairly broad loop in order to get a hold that won’t pull out. For a mastectomy, there is such a large flap of skin that it really isn’t practical to try to sew the flap to the chest. The drains do it all.
Response:
"bell-lady" I had lumpectomy, as I wrote before, and had a drain in only during my 23 hour stay in the hospital. It was removed before I left, I don’t even remember it! Electron boost: During radiation, the first 5 weeks of the usual 6 week regimin is a broader, less intensive radiation. For the last usually 5 treatments, they do what is called an electron boost treatment, in addition. Zap the exact site of the lump with different ( or at least stronger) rays, to a specific depth. I found it felt no different, just took slightly longer than the usual 5 minute treatment. I did get a bit of a sunburn/suntan, nothing bad, from it, whereas the 5 minute treatments had no ill effect that I could see or feel.
Thanks good to know, I guess 23 hour stay in the hospital!!!! I must call my Doc. she never stated how long a day it would be??? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Ann in PA
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"A. P. Thorsen" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I second that. I was really anxious about going home with the drains in place (I had 3 due to bilateral mastectomy with axillary dissection on 1 side) . . . I live alone, and was worried about how I would handle it. It turned out not to be a huge issue. I usually wore a loose t-shirt as my inner layer of clothing, and pinned the drains to the inside of that, then wore some kind of loose overshirt on top when I went out. I had to empty the drains several times a day, logging the amount of fluid drained. It sounds pretty yucky, but it’s surely no more so in practice than the menstrual periods we’ve all gotten used to coping with! One of my life-lessons from all of this was that anticipating things with terror and dread was kinda dysfunctional. Often, things I had worried about turned out to be no biggie, and I had just wasted all that good "worry time"! Wishing you the best as you continue with your treatment, Ann T.
I am with you Ann. Kinda dysfunctional is the way I USE to live my life. Thanks be, I changed many years ago. It’s a good thing to, for now I do have to deal with terror and nice day in the park, but I’m dealing with it and for me that’s good. dj
Response:
The tubes are a bit of a nuisance, but they are your friends and it works best to keep them in place until they stop draining, if you have them.
I second that. I was really anxious about going home with the drains in place (I had 3 due to bilateral mastectomy with axillary dissection on 1 side) . . . I live alone, and was worried about how I would handle it. It turned out not to be a huge issue. I usually wore a loose t-shirt as my inner layer of clothing, and pinned the drains to the inside of that, then wore some kind of loose overshirt on top when I went out. I had to empty the drains several times a day, logging the amount of fluid drained. It sounds pretty yucky, but it’s surely no more so in practice than the menstrual periods we’ve all gotten used to coping with! One of my life-lessons from all of this was that anticipating things with terror and dread was kinda dysfunctional. Often, things I had worried about turned out to be no biggie, and I had just wasted all that good "worry time"! Wishing you the best as you continue with your treatment, Ann T.
Response:
"Sandy Wounds heal from side to side. If the sides are not touching, they don’t heal well if at all. The tubes are to remove serum that might accumulate in the area of the incision so that the sides will not be held apart. Whether tubes are needed depends a bit on how large a gap there is at the site of surgery. The tubes are a bit of a nuisance, but they are your friends and it works best to keep them in place until they stop draining, if you have them.
Call me silly, but if the surgeon closes up the incision from side to side the dj
Response:
Re: Drains I had lumpectomy, as I wrote before, and had a drain in only during my 23 hour stay in the hospital. It was removed before I left, I don’t even remember it! Electron boost: During radiation, the first 5 weeks of the usual 6 week regimin is a broader, less intensive radiation. For the last usually 5 treatments, they do what is called an electron boost treatment, in addition. Zap the exact site of the lump with different ( or at least stronger) rays, to a specific depth. I found it felt no different, just took slightly longer than the usual 5 minute treatment. I did get a bit of a sunburn/suntan, nothing bad, from it, whereas the 5 minute treatments had no ill effect that I could see or feel. Question for the group: I am still experiencing what the surgeon called ‘peau d’orange (skin of an orange) effect on the affected breast. Is that from radiation? Skin is sort of thickened and tough, pitted in appearance (kind of like cellulite in the cheesy newspaper ads ). Anyone else? Does it ever go away? It’s only the underside of the breast, but it does get a bit heavy and tight-feeling sometimes… Ann in PA
Response:
"Erik It depends on whether you’re having an axillary dissection. Removal of lymph nodes would mean drains.
Yes she said she would be removing 2 or 3 (maybe more, I pray not) Yes this is very scary, but I guess I don’t have to tell anyone here about that 
No, you don’t. But take it to heart that all will be well, and you will get through this. Yes I know the stonger power of pray.
Thanks for your time. dj
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – "Erik It depends on whether you’re having an axillary dissection. Removal of lymph nodes would mean drains. Yes she said she would be removing 2 or 3 (maybe more, I pray not) Yes this is very scary, but I guess I don’t have to tell anyone here about that No, you don’t. But take it to heart that all will be well, and you will get through this. Yes I know the stonger power of pray. Thanks for your time. dj
Wounds heal from side to side. If the sides are not touching, they don’t heal well if at all. The tubes are to remove serum that might accumulate in the area of the incision so that the sides will not be held apart. Whether tubes are needed depends a bit on how large a gap there is at the site of surgery. The tubes are a bit of a nuisance, but they are your friends and it works best to keep them in place until they stop draining, if you have them.
Response:
you by name soon Anyways, thanks for the websites they are very helpful and I will be asking question of my breast surgeon. Something I found on one of the websites is this: After surgery you will have a bandage over the surgery site. You may have one or more tube (drains) from the breast or underarm area to remove fluid that collects
during the healing process. Most drains stay in place for a week or two. Once the flow has gone down to about one ounce a day, the drain will be removed. Will I have these tube (drains) even though I going to have a Lumpectomy? DJ….Yes this is very scary, but I guess I don’t have to tell anyone here about that
Hi DJ, it was Sandy who mentioned sentinel node.(not me)
<http://www.cancer.org/docroot/NWS/content/NWS_1_1x_Sentinel_Node_Tech… For_Breast_Cancer_Easier_On_Patient.asp <http://www.cancer.org/docroot/cri/content/cri_2_2_4x_how_is_breast_ca… reated_5.asp – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sentinel lymph node biopsy: for this test, a radioactive substance or a dye is injected near the tumor. The substance is carried by the lymph system to the first (sentinel) node to receive lymph from the tumor. This lymph node is the one most likely to contain cancer cells if the cancer has spread. If the sentinel node contains cancer, more lymph nodes are removed. If it is free of cancer, further lymph node surgery might not be needed.<snip It’ll probably make more sense if you read both articles. This and other importatnt info is probably in Dr. Susan Love’s breast cancer book. I’m not spamming, really. This is the most oft referred to book here. I’m sure it’s scarey but the folks here will help you through this. In addition, reading the other posts will help you too. Hope this helps. J
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Hi Thanks much. Please tell me what you mean by electon BOOST? Thanks again, dj
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Scared? you bet! But things really move so rapidly that there is not time for a lot of fear, as you are a little to busy to have much time for anything but action. My lumpectomy was September 30, stayed home from work for a week, then went back to a full schedule. My drain was removed before then, but while it was in place I found that it fit nicely in a ‘fanny pack’. Started my electron BOOST yesterday and will take the final one on Friday (for this we are having to drive to a site 2 hours away, but am still going to put in half days at work before leaving for the treatment.) YEAH! I will be all done before Christmas and ready to celebrate the completion of treatment as well as the holidays with my family. Good luck in all that you and your medical team decides to do for your treatment. Seems like it takes forever but it really does have an ‘end’, and life goes back to being pretty much like it was before the discovery. Me2
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Scared? you bet! But things really move so rapidly that there is not time for a lot of fear, as you are a little to busy to have much time for anything but action. My lumpectomy was September 30, stayed home from work for a week, then went back to a full schedule. My drain was removed before then, but while it was in place I found that it fit nicely in a ‘fanny pack’. Started my electron BOOST yesterday and will take the final one on Friday (for this we are having to drive to a site 2 hours away, but am still going to put in half days at work before leaving for the treatment.) YEAH! I will be all done before Christmas and ready to celebrate the completion of treatment as well as the holidays with my family. Good luck in all that you and your medical team decides to do for your treatment. Seems like it takes forever but it really does have an ‘end’, and life goes back to being pretty much like it was before the discovery. Me2
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Hi DJ, it was Sandy who mentioned sentinel node.(not me) <http://www.cancer.org/docroot/NWS/content/NWS_1_1x_Sentinel_Node_Tech… <http://www.cancer.org/docroot/cri/content/cri_2_2_4x_how_is_breast_ca… Sentinel lymph node biopsy: for this test, a radioactive substance or a dye is injected near the tumor. The substance is carried by the lymph system to the first (sentinel) node to receive lymph from the tumor. This lymph node is the one most likely to contain cancer cells if the cancer has spread. If the sentinel node contains cancer, more lymph nodes are removed. If it is free of cancer, further lymph node surgery might not be needed.<snip It’ll probably make more sense if you read both articles. This and other importatnt info is probably in Dr. Susan Love’s breast cancer book. I’m not spamming, really. This is the most oft referred to book here. I’m sure it’s scarey but the folks here will help you through this. In addition, reading the other posts will help you too. Hope this helps. J – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – J Thanks for the reply. Can you tell me where I can get information on this sentinel node procedure…..other then calling my Doctor. Thanks much I so very sacred dj J I’m so new to all this……I don’t see you’re reply? Diane….dj Hi Diane, Your best newsgroup is probably alt.support.cancer.breast they know everything over there. Click on the following and see if it takes you there. If it does, you’ll find your post and my reply there, reply on the other newsgroup, then others can reply to you, okay? J PS http://imaginis.com/breasthealth/breast_cancer.asp Also Dr. Susan Love’s book(s) on breast cancer Welcome aboard. There are no replies yet. Staging is done at and after surgery, when the pathologist measures the size of the tumor and determines whether any lymph nodes have cancer. You may want to look into the sentinel node procedure; it is less invasive than the older methods. Other factors go into staging, but those are the first things that will be determined. Another useful site is http://bca.ns.ca/cgi-bin/forum/index.cgi. They have links to places where staging is defined more thoroughly.
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J Thanks for the reply. Can you tell me where I can get information on this sentinel node procedure…..other then calling my Doctor. Thanks much I so very sacred dj
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – J I’m so new to all this……I don’t see you’re reply? Diane….dj Hi Diane, Your best newsgroup is probably alt.support.cancer.breast they know everything over there. Click on the following and see if it takes you there. If it does, you’ll find your post and my reply there, reply on the other newsgroup, then others can reply to you, okay? J PS http://imaginis.com/breasthealth/breast_cancer.asp Also Dr. Susan Love’s book(s) on breast cancer Welcome aboard. There are no replies yet. Staging is done at and after surgery, when the pathologist measures the size of the tumor and determines whether any lymph nodes have cancer. You may want to look into the sentinel node procedure; it is less invasive than the older methods. Other factors go into staging, but those are the first things that will be determined. Another useful site is http://bca.ns.ca/cgi-bin/forum/index.cgi. They have links to places where staging is defined more thoroughly.
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J I’m so new to all this……I don’t see you’re reply? Diane….dj Hi Diane, Your best newsgroup is probably alt.support.cancer.breast they know everything over there. Click on the following and see if it takes you there. If it does, you’ll find your post and my reply there, reply on the other newsgroup, then others can reply to you, okay? J PS http://imaginis.com/breasthealth/breast_cancer.asp Also Dr. Susan Love’s book(s) on breast cancer
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– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – J I’m so new to all this……I don’t see you’re reply? Diane….dj Hi Diane, Your best newsgroup is probably alt.support.cancer.breast they know everything over there. Click on the following and see if it takes you there. If it does, you’ll find your post and my reply there, reply on the other newsgroup, then others can reply to you, okay? J PS http://imaginis.com/breasthealth/breast_cancer.asp Also Dr. Susan Love’s book(s) on breast cancer
Welcome aboard. There are no replies yet. Staging is done at and after surgery, when the pathologist measures the size of the tumor and determines whether any lymph nodes have cancer. You may want to look into the sentinel node procedure; it is less invasive than the older methods. Other factors go into staging, but those are the first things that will be determined. Another useful site is http://bca.ns.ca/cgi-bin/forum/index.cgi. They have links to places where staging is defined more thoroughly.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Even through my Mom had breast cancer at the age of 60 in 1981. She did pass away in 1991 but from complications of her diabetes she never had any signs of caner in her whole body for the full 10 years, which would make her a 10-year survivor of breast cancer. From the time my Mom had her mastectomy 1981 (I was 34 y/o) I’ve had a mammogram every year and all was fine, I’m now age 55. Not this year….. The mammogram this year was showing something on my left breast, as they put it "very vague" so we went onto a ultrasound imaging. Also on the ultrasound was the word again "very vague" so an ultrasound biopsy was done on Dec. 4, 2202. Also I was told there is no discrete nodule or mass demonstrated on the mammogram, and no lump on the outside of my breast however, there is added density from last years mammogram. The news come back on Wednesday Dec. 11, 2002 as cancer. I went to see the breast surgeon Dr. Jan Houston on Thrus. Dec. 12, 2002 to talk. She stated it’s in my left breast, Stage I, Ducal, 8 something long, in England for me she said about less than a half an inch. It’s 2 cm from the nipple on the bottom part of my breast. I have decided to go with the lumpectomy. She will remove some lymph nodes. She also stated I will be taking radiation for 6 weeks, 5 days a week. As far as chemo she stated will we see what treatments to do after the surgery which is Friday Dec. 20th. On Monday, Dec. 16th, I’m going in for per testing and on Thursday Dec.19th I’m going to Nuke…something or other… Medicine to have wires put in my left breast? I’m scared this is all so new to me. I, because of the ultrasound "guy" pushing hard on my breast think that the cancer is "deep" inside my breast , the biopsy "lady" also pushed hard on my breast to get a "good sample" as she stated, however that added to the ultrasound "guy" just makes me believe is "deep" inside my breast. Which I’m thinking it’s spread to my breast "bones". Sorry if I’m not spelling everything correct or not calling the doctors by the correct names I’m just not sure of the correct words. How does the breast surgeon (whom I do like very much) know what Stage your cancer is. By the mammogram, ultrasound, or biopsy or is it not fare to say what Stage your cancer is until after the lumpectomy and the lymph node are checked? I do understand how she knows the size, but she can’t know how deep it is inside your breast. Also understand how she knows where it is, in my case Ducal, but that’s all she could know until after the surgery…right. Thanks to all who took the time to read this and for any help.
Hi Diane, Your best newsgroup is probably alt.support.cancer.breast they know everything over there. Click on the following and see if it takes you there. If it does, you’ll find your post and my reply there, reply on the other newsgroup, then others can reply to you, okay? J PS http://imaginis.com/breasthealth/breast_cancer.asp Also Dr. Susan Love’s book(s) on breast cancer
Response:
For those of you just tuning in, or those of you who forgot (because I don’t hang around this part of the cyberverse as much as I used to) – my mother was the first perpetrator, and a pretty continuous one. I didn’t talk to her for a little over 5 years, and shortly after we started talking, she moved a state away. The move did much to improve our relationship, and I was very glad she was that far. I wrote here last year (I think) (I know I emailed some) about her breast cancer. I know many of you thought nice things at me, and some said prayers. And you know, I really think it made a difference. To me, anyhoo. I can feel it when people are thinking kindly of me. So, if I didn’t appreciate you properly for it, I’m so sorry. Do know that I am so grateful for your kindnesses. She was diagnosed just in March, I think. She had chemo from June to December. In January she had radiation. She got something she called a cold in February, and her lungs never truly recovered. They finally figured out she didn’t have ordinary pneumonia, and put her on steroids. They said the chemo and radiation can make the lungs weak. I got to see her the last weekend in June. I was originally going up July 4th weekend, but I got a new job [worked 3 days, and had to call in ‘bereaved’), so I was up early. The pretense was that I was helping them clean and toss to get ready to move to the ‘home’. She so wanted to get there before she died. So, she kept saying ‘what do want? Take it now’ I am sure that she knew. And we sailed the river of denial right to the end. I cried myself dehydrated – I didn’t know you could DO that. Didn’t feel better til I got a whole bottle of water in me, much later. She was two days away from her 64th birthday (for which my stepdad had written a most lovely parody of the beatles’ song). I needed to tell people who wouldn’t necessarily understand, but at least have some idea of the complexity it is for me. I hated her and I loved her. I miss her terribly. I can’t call her to tell her about the lovely new man who has shown up in my life. (though I had quite a crush on him, so she did get to hear alot about it when I was visiting) I can’t call to ask how to fix the chicken or what to do for a million little things. The sympathy people were hard. I took a valium for the ‘gathering’ so I wouldn’t kill anyone. I thought that was brilliant on my part. There was a gathering for people here, and there’s going to be a buddhist service in her town next weekend. I had one aunt (second wife of uncle who is ma’s bro) ask me what she did that was so bad. I decided not to tell her. More for self protection than for her. It was an interesting choice (and it was the day before the valium, I was sober) The man has been so much more than wonderful. I’ve known him since March. We went out when I got home from visiting mom (drinking and commiserating since both our cars had died expensive deaths). I cooked dinner for him the night before she died. She was in hospital, but they hadn’t called me. I felt awful calling him (we hadn’t so much as hugged) but I really had no one else I wanted to/could be with. He opened up his arms and I fell right in. He’s so….appropriate. and kind. He didn’t need to fix it, he could just BE there with me. He makes me laugh, a lot. Weird story about coming together though. I can’t just tell people, cuz everyone is so grieving. 